Monday, October 15, 2007

The shidduch crisis, shmirat negiah, and Nikah Mut'ah

Lately, some people have been recommending "ditching shomer negiah" as a possible way to alleviate the shidduch crisis. Chas v' sholom that we should lead our heiliger youth astray with such suggestions. Instead, I propose a solution which, much like many of our halachos (e.g the eiruv), relies on the concept of a rabbinical legal fiction.

In this case, I think we can borrow an idea from our cousins, the Shi'a Muslims, who have the notion of a Nikah Mut'ah(temporary marriage). Since, unlike Christianity, Judaism doesn't stigmatize divorce, this is really a wonderful solution.

This solution would alleviate so many problems, I cannot believe it has not been proposed before. It would relieve the tremendous strain of maintaining an asexual relationship, thereby avoiding a rush to get married and it would allow couples to test out their sexual compatibility in a completely halachic way.

So what are you all waiting for? Go out and get (temporarily) married today!

13 Comments:

Blogger XGH said...

Are you crazy?! This could never work. No jewish female is gonna go for a quickie marriage. The menu alone takes 6 months to plan!

October 15, 2007 8:03 AM  
Blogger e-kvetcher said...

You don't need to tell anyone about it, do you? Just need a couple of witnesses and someone to marry you!

Who else needs to know?

October 15, 2007 8:30 AM  
Anonymous B. Spinoza said...

are you kidding? This will detract from the holy institution of marriage.

Why can't the girls just go to the mikva?

October 15, 2007 8:40 AM  
Blogger e-kvetcher said...

b.spin, it would be marriage, how can it detract from it. And of course all the halachos of marriage, including taharas hamishpachah would apply.

October 15, 2007 9:26 AM  
Anonymous B. Spinoza said...

if people associate marriage with a long term commitment and then you change it to a short term thing it can cause people to view marriage in general as something disposable and cheap.

October 15, 2007 10:43 AM  
Blogger e-kvetcher said...

>if people associate marriage with a long term commitment and then you change it to a short term thing it can cause people to view marriage in general as something disposable and cheap.

I don't know. It seems to work for the Shi'ites and they are a pretty socially conservative bunch of folks. Maybe it's a dumb idea. I just thought the whole "legal fiction" is really in the spirit of rabbinic judaism.

October 15, 2007 6:50 PM  
Anonymous B. Spinoza said...

who needs fiction? they could just get busy for real :)

October 15, 2007 8:23 PM  
Blogger e-kvetcher said...

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt :)

October 15, 2007 8:50 PM  
Blogger Tobie said...

That would really mess up life for the Kohanim, no?

October 16, 2007 2:39 AM  
Blogger e-kvetcher said...

>That would really mess up life for the Kohanim, no?
To make an omelet, you need to break some eggs?

I am not sure what you mean - that there will be a bigger pool of non-virgins? I suppose that is true. I am not proposing this as something that is a serious stage in a relationship. Two people that meet in a bar would not get a temporary marriage just so they can do the horizontal mambo that night. But if a couple has been dating seriously it could be an option.

October 16, 2007 7:19 AM  
Blogger Tobie said...

I mean that kohanim can't marry anybody who's been divorced, which in your world would mean nobody who has had a serious relationship before. Plus the fact that I find it hard to imagine a world in which this loophole, once invented, would not be muchly overused.

October 17, 2007 2:00 AM  
Blogger aharon feldman said...

This actually exists in the gemara yevamos 37b that talks about temporary marriage

July 23, 2016 9:53 PM  
Blogger aharon feldman said...

This actually exists in the gemara yevamos 37b that talks about temporary marriage

July 23, 2016 9:53 PM  

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