The shidduch crisis, shmirat negiah, and Nikah Mut'ah
Lately, some people have been recommending "ditching shomer negiah" as a possible way to alleviate the shidduch crisis. Chas v' sholom that we should lead our heiliger youth astray with such suggestions. Instead, I propose a solution which, much like many of our halachos (e.g the eiruv), relies on the concept of a rabbinical legal fiction.
In this case, I think we can borrow an idea from our cousins, the Shi'a Muslims, who have the notion of a Nikah Mut'ah(temporary marriage). Since, unlike Christianity, Judaism doesn't stigmatize divorce, this is really a wonderful solution.
This solution would alleviate so many problems, I cannot believe it has not been proposed before. It would relieve the tremendous strain of maintaining an asexual relationship, thereby avoiding a rush to get married and it would allow couples to test out their sexual compatibility in a completely halachic way.
So what are you all waiting for? Go out and get (temporarily) married today!
In this case, I think we can borrow an idea from our cousins, the Shi'a Muslims, who have the notion of a Nikah Mut'ah(temporary marriage). Since, unlike Christianity, Judaism doesn't stigmatize divorce, this is really a wonderful solution.
This solution would alleviate so many problems, I cannot believe it has not been proposed before. It would relieve the tremendous strain of maintaining an asexual relationship, thereby avoiding a rush to get married and it would allow couples to test out their sexual compatibility in a completely halachic way.
So what are you all waiting for? Go out and get (temporarily) married today!
posted by e-kvetcher at 7:03 AM
17 Comments:
Are you crazy?! This could never work. No jewish female is gonna go for a quickie marriage. The menu alone takes 6 months to plan!
You don't need to tell anyone about it, do you? Just need a couple of witnesses and someone to marry you!
Who else needs to know?
are you kidding? This will detract from the holy institution of marriage.
Why can't the girls just go to the mikva?
b.spin, it would be marriage, how can it detract from it. And of course all the halachos of marriage, including taharas hamishpachah would apply.
if people associate marriage with a long term commitment and then you change it to a short term thing it can cause people to view marriage in general as something disposable and cheap.
>if people associate marriage with a long term commitment and then you change it to a short term thing it can cause people to view marriage in general as something disposable and cheap.
I don't know. It seems to work for the Shi'ites and they are a pretty socially conservative bunch of folks. Maybe it's a dumb idea. I just thought the whole "legal fiction" is really in the spirit of rabbinic judaism.
who needs fiction? they could just get busy for real :)
That would really mess up life for the Kohanim, no?
>That would really mess up life for the Kohanim, no?
To make an omelet, you need to break some eggs?
I am not sure what you mean - that there will be a bigger pool of non-virgins? I suppose that is true. I am not proposing this as something that is a serious stage in a relationship. Two people that meet in a bar would not get a temporary marriage just so they can do the horizontal mambo that night. But if a couple has been dating seriously it could be an option.
I mean that kohanim can't marry anybody who's been divorced, which in your world would mean nobody who has had a serious relationship before. Plus the fact that I find it hard to imagine a world in which this loophole, once invented, would not be muchly overused.
This actually exists in the gemara yevamos 37b that talks about temporary marriage
This actually exists in the gemara yevamos 37b that talks about temporary marriage
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I have always disliked the idea because of the costs.
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