John got an iPhone last week and our relationship is in deep peril. As is the future of our country.
He keeps forwarding email crap to me and I'm sure that the only reason that he does it is so that the ridiculous legend at the bottom, "sent from my iPhone", can mock me. He knows that I am insanely jealous and yet he seems to be unable to stop himself. I told him to disable it or I'd disable him, but so far he hasn't. Not only that, when I call him, this is how he responds:
"Answered on my iPhone: Hello." "Fuck you," I say. "Insult received on my iPhone," he says.
He also told me that his iPhone gave him a handjob, but I totally doubt it.